With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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