dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
