we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
