A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
