I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
