i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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