What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Also, beer. Big fan.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
