I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
