Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
