let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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