Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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