I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
