I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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