I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
