Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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