thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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