Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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