Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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