hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Randomize
