I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My penis needs a shock collar
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
