i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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