That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
