things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
