its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
my mouth tastes like poor choices
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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