TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
