Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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