Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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