You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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