3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
