i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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