I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
