A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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