I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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