I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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