If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
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