i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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