i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
