Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
pop tarts are not kleenex
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
