I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
