I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
this will be a night to untag.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Randomize
