I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
cat food counts as protein by the way
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
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