I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
