i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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