it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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