Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
