I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
