When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
