he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
