I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
