SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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