this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
