That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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