you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
