i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
